Chips

​If another freaking seagull pokes its beak where it doesn't belong (in my bag of chips) I will … I will … I’m not sure what I will do but it will NOT be pretty. It will not be becoming for a lady like me. A lady who curses and spits and screams at seagulls like a gremlin goblin gargoyle MY chips MINE I grasp them so tightly that I crush every little thing left inside the bag. 

Is that what I did to you?